


All Comes Down

by haijme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haijme/pseuds/haijme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime flips through the photos and finds them as partners in preschool, classmates in junior high, team mates in the high school volleyball team and a hell lot of Oikawa's stupid selfies with Hajime. Hajime tries to hold back his tears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Comes Down

 

It was the first day back after the winter holidays, and already the class was uncontrollable. Sensei clapped her hands five times before the noise gradually died down.

“Class, this is Iwaizumi chan, he is 5 like all of you and will be joining our class. Be sure to be nice to him and make him feel welcomed.”

 

“Nice to meet you!”

 

Everyone returned to their own games and the din exploded once more.

“Oikawa chan,” sensei called out to Oikawa as she padded towards him with Hajime, “can you be Iwaizumi chan’s partner and show him around the school? I’m sure you will be the best partner.”

 

“Okay,” Oikawa exclaimed confidently as he grabbed Hajime’s hand. “Come on Iwa chan~ I will show you the best places in the playground! Oh, I also know where all the coolest toys are. Hey I can even teach you how to catch bugs in the bushes. You know, once I saw this huge stag beetle as big as sensei’s palm!”

Oikawa grinned proudly.

“I will be the best partner you could ever find!”

 

***

 

On Oikawa’s 11th birthday, Hajime’s mother brought both of them to a mall to pick out a birthday gift. Oikawa flashed his most charming smile towards Hajime’s mother and pulled a face at Hajime when his mother wasn’t looking.

“Nothing for you, Iwa chan~”

“Shut up idiot,” Hajime retorted, which earned him a scolding from his mother (“watch your language Hajime!”) and a smirk from Oikawa.

They walked around the mall until something caught Oikawa’s attention. It was a volleyball with alien pictures printed on it. Oikawa stared at it, and Hajime was sure that the aliens caught Oikawa’s attention, instead of the actual volleyball.

“I would like this, please,” Oikawa told Hajime’s mother.

“You don’t even know how to play volleyball,” Hajime pointed out.

“I will. After I start practicing with this ball. You are just jealous, Iwa chan.”

Hajime sighed as he watched Oikawa practically skip out of the shop.

 

***

 

Naturally, Hajime and Oikawa enrolled in the same junior high and joined the volleyball team.

Everything was as usual. Oikawa was as popular as ever, as annoying as ever, and as childish as ever. It was still Hajime’s job to babysit Oikawa and fulfill his childish whims. (“Carry me Iwa chan.”) No matter how many times Hajime has told Oikawa that ‘-chan’ is way past his age range, Oikawa insists that ‘-chan’ will make his grumpy personality less of a concern.

 

Everything was fine, until a genius first year joined their volleyball team.

 

Kageyama had natural talent as a setter, Hajime could tell after watching him toss for five minutes. Hajime could also tell that Oikawa realized this too. Oikawa was still smiling and calling out to first years (“nice receive, Kindaichi”), but after spending almost everyday with Oikawa, Hajime knew that it was all an act.

 

Oikawa intensified his training schedule after that. Hajime knew it was due to the fear of Kageyama surpassing him, though Oikawa would never admit it. Most of the time, Hajime would stay with Oikawa when he practiced tossing, and spiked every toss with power and precision. Hajime has already memorized each of Oikawa’s muscle movements just by watching him practice for such a long time. Often, Hajime would have to carry Oikawa home because Oikawa insisted that he was too exhausted to walk by himself. This always followed by a series of complaints from Hajime and a “you are the best, Iwa chan” from Oikawa.

 

Surprisingly, Hajime always complied.

 

One day, Hajime’s mother asked him to come home early from practice, so he left Oikawa to his own devices, which earned him a pout from his best friend. Hajime told Oikawa to not overwork himself, “yes mom” Oikawa replied. About 7pm, the phone rang in Hajime’s house, and his mother rushed to get it. Her expression turned from cheerful, to confusion, to worry.

“Hajime, do you know where Tooru is? He’s not back home.”

Hajime sighed, “I’ll go get him.”

 

As Hajime approached the gym, he sensed that something was off. The lights in the gym were still on, but he couldn’t hear volleyballs hitting the ground like they always do when Oikawa practiced. Worry started building in Hajime and he quickened the pace towards the gym door. What he found in the gym was Oikawa, sprawled on the floor, legs at an awkward angle, and eyes shining with tears.

“Iwa chan,” he breathed. “I-I don’t know... what-”

“Didn’t I tell you not to overwork yourself? Oikawa, your mother and my mother are worried sick.” Hajime shouted as he ran towards Oikawa, and knelt down beside him, hands and eyes frantically searching for any more signs of injury. Oikawa curled his fingers around the hem of Hajime’s shirt and tugged him close; Hajime wrapped his arms around Oikawa as Hajime calmed his own breathing.

“Did I worry you, Iwa chan?” A pathetic attempt of lightheartedness.

Hajime didn’t answer, just buried his head in Oikawa’s shoulder. He knew well, that this kind of injury might not be able to heal in a short time, if ever.

 

***

 

Hajime and Oikawa were both in Aoba Jousai; the injury and Kageyama still haunted Oikawa.

“Stop worrying, Iwa chan. I’m fine. You will get wrinkles on your handsome face if you worry too much.”

But Hajime knew that it was not fine. He could see Oikawa gritting his teeth every time he does a jump serve and the discomfort that only Hajime could pick up from the twitch of Oikawa’s eyes. Oikawa still over practiced, Hajime couldn’t prevent them, and so he stayed to watch and tucked Oikawa into bed after.

 

“Stay with me,” Oikawa told Hajime after a grueling day of practice, as Hajime opened the door to leave. Hajime internally sighed, and scolded himself for not being able to refuse any of Oikawa’s requests.

 

Oikawa’s bed was a single bed, but they’ve slept over and shared almost everything, including personal space, for the past decade to care about the lack of distance between them. Hajime climbed into the bed, and Oikawa snuggled sleepily towards him as Hajime ran his hand through Oikawa’s brown locks, out of habit, obviously. Their feet touch, and Oikawa has an arm around Hajime’s waist, head buried in his chest. This was all normal, and Hajime tries to ignore Oikawa’s stifled sobs.

 

***

 

Being around Oikawa became strained for Hajime. He couldn’t help but notice things that he’s never paid attention to. Their casual touches, for instance, sent Hajime on edge, as well as the way Oikawa looked at Hajime, as if Hajime was the most treasured jewel in the world. Hell, Hajime even thought about the moments when Oikawa made him carry him, though he was not prepared to admit it. This was certainly not love. No way would Hajime fall in love with someone as obnoxious Oikawa.

 

He wouldn’t admit it. So he pulled away.

 

Hajime avoided Oikawa, and answered his questions as briefly as possible. Every time he walked away from Oikawa, he saw a flash of hurt cross his face, and Hajime felt like being stabbed in the heart every time. Oikawa stopped pestering him all the time, and called him Iwaizumi instead of Iwa chan. This should have cheered Hajime up, but this just reminded him of the distance between them. Hajime ignored all of Oikawa’s texts and phone calls and left practices as soon as possible. Everyone noticed, but no one commented on anything.

 

After two weeks, on a Saturday night, Hajime’s doorbell rang. He went to get the door, and found Oikawa standing sternly, drained from all his energy and optimism, at the other side of the door.

“Why are you avoiding me, Iwaizumi Hajime?”

The use of Hajime’s full name and Oikawa’s seriousness sent shivers down his spine. Oikawa never used his full name, not even when they were fighting.

“I’m not. If you will excuse me, I need to return to my homework.”

“No. Look at me and tell me why you are avoiding me.”

Hajime tried to close the door, but Oikawa stubbornly stands in the doorframe. Oikawa grabs Hajime’s wrist and forces Hajime to look at him, but found Hajime shaking instead. Oikawa’s eyes widened.

“Did I do anything wrong? Iwaizumi, talk to me.”

 

It was late at night, and Hajime was tired. Tired at the world, tired of staying away, and tired of not being with Oikawa 24/7. They were standing so close, too close. Oikawa’s hands were warm on his wrist, and his eyes were full of concern for Hajime.

 

For God’s sake, Hajime thought. He intertwined their fingers and brought his lips up to meet Oikawa’s.

 

Their noses collided awkwardly; Oikawa tasted like ramen, but it was a kiss never the less. Hajime pulled back and saw Oikawa who looked dumbfounded for once. Hajime cleared his throat.

“I’m sor-“

Before he could finish, Oikawa silenced him with a slow kiss, this one less awkward than the first. He brought his hand up on Hajime’s back and the other in Hajime’s short-cropped hair, reminding Hajime that he was still there. Hajime relaxed, and melted into Oikawa’s strong arms.

 

***

Hajime and Oikawa moved in together after graduating from high school. Hajime studied medicine and Oikawa studied astrology.

 

“Iwa chan,” Oikawa once muttered in his third year of college as they were about to fall asleep. “What are we going to do after college?”

“Obviously, I become a doctor, while you gaze at stars.”

“How mean! But you know that’s not what I mean.”

“Mm. We’ll know when the time comes,” Hajime replies sleepily while draping his arm around Oikawa’s waist.

“I love you,” Oikawa breathes against Hajime’s lips.

 

Hajime just smiles, and kisses him back, trusting Oikawa to understand.

 

A year passed, and Oikawa graduated from college, Hajime having to study for another three years. They return home and climbed up onto the roof of Hajime’s house. The gentle summer breeze swept through Oikawa’s chocolate locks as Hajime laces his fingers with Oikawa’s. Despite living together in college, they hardly spent time together due to the schoolwork and studies.

 

“I missed you,” Hajime confessed.

“Iwa chan! Such a romantic,” Oikawa exclaimed in false surprise, “I didn’t know you were so obsessed with me”

“Shut up dumbass. I’m not obsessed with you.” Oikawa just smirks.

“Happy Birthday Iwa chan~” Oikawa sings as he hands over a scrapbook. “Open it when we are twenty five. Don’t peek!”

“Scrapbooks are for teenage girls, stupid”

“You know, the space reminds me of you,” Oikawa wonders out loud, ignoring Hajime’s comment on the scrapbook, “it’s like your name, hajime. Space is the beginning of everything, and there is no end to it.”

 

Oikawa was acting strange, and Hajime didn’t know where Oikawa was getting at.

 

“And when you look into the void, you realize that there is so much yet to be discovered and you get entranced into it. Like a black hole.”

 

Hajime had the vague feeling that Oikawa wasn’t just talking about space. Oikawa looked uncomfortable and cleared his throat, which was quite amusing to watch.

 

“I would like to discover all the possibilities of space. And of us, together.” Hajime raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hajime, will you marry me?”

 

Hajime imagined all the possibilities, ran his hands through Oikawa’s rarely messy locks, and kissed Oikawa deeply, making Oikawa sigh against his lips.

 

“Of course, idiot. You didn’t even need to ask.”

 

***

 

After an exhausting day in the hospital, Hajime took the train back home. He stumbled onto the platform and out into the streets. He vaguely heard car engines roaring in the distance, but he continued to walk on while texting Oikawa.

 

-

Hajime: I’m here.

Oikawa: <3 I’m just around the corner. Don’t miss me too much Iwa chan. xx

Hajime: Don’t worry, I wont.

Oikawa: :o

-

Without Hajime noticing, the engine sounds grew louder, and soon, two yellow headlights shone on Hajime.

 

“Iwa chan!” It was Oikawa. His tone mixed with fear and urgency. Hajime just had enough time to turn around, before he got shoved out of the way.

 

A body went flying across the street, and landed at an awkward angle. It was supposed to be Hajime, but the person on the ground was Oikawa.

 

Hajime couldn't look. Couldn't look at Oikawa's limp figure, his almost unmoving chest and his pale lips. Hajime felt the air sucked out of his own chest, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even bring himself to move, even towards Oikawa. Oikawa, the boy next door; Oikawa, the best dumbass friend; Oikawa, the genius setter; Oikawa, the annoying boyfriend; Oikawa, the idiot who saved Hajime from the car crash.

 

Hajime knew he was stupid, and called the ambulance while rushing to Oikawa’s side. He was a doctor for God’s sake, he was supposed to know what to do, he was supposed to keep Oikawa out of harm. What kind of boyfriend was he?

 

“Hajime…” Oikawa reached out for him, but winced at the attempt.

“Shh. Oikawa, you will be fine. I called the ambulance, everything will be alright.” Hajime could feel his own panic rising, because he knew it was far from all right. He brought his lips to Oikawa’s and kissed him urgently, one hand cradling Oikawa, and the other cupping his cheek.

“I love you, I love you, and I’m here Tooru. Hey, look at me, stay with me. Please…” Hajime’s voice cracked. When Oikawa looked at Hajime, he found tears shining in Hajime’s eyes. He swallowed with difficulty.

“Hajime.” Oikawa mustered a weak smile. “I love you too.”

 

After that, he closed his eyes and the ambulance took Oikawa Tooru away.

 

***

 

It’s been three weeks since the car crash and three weeks since Hajime has slept or eaten anything.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa’s mother told him. He shook his head.

“You’re the one who lost a son, why should you be saying sorry to me?”

Oikawa’s mother just looks at him sadly.

“You lost your other half.”

 

The artificial cardiac pacemaker was regulating Oikawa’s heart rate, so he’s still alive. Hajime laid his head on Oikawa’s chest, and listened to his artificially beating heart. It was better than nothing. He traced his fingers to Oikawa’s eyelids, where his warm eyes lied underneath; his mouth, where he used to kiss Hajime goodnight; his chest, where Hajime often rested his head on; and his arms, which used to wrap around Hajime whenever he needed them. He tangled his hands in Oikawa’s locks and stroked his cheek, kissed him even, as if that would bring Oikawa back.

 

Hajime knew. Oikawa was gone.

 

Gone when Hajime got careless and made Oikawa push him out of harm, gone when the car hit him, and gone when he whispered the words “I love you”.

 

It was 10th June.

 

The doctor unplugged Oikawa Tooru.

 

Oikawa was gone.

***

 

He looks at the scrapbook Oikawa gave him on his twenty-fifth birthday, like he promised. It was delicately made, despite Oikawa’s lack of artistic skills. He finds tears streaming down his cheeks before he really knows their existence. The picture of Oikawa stares back at him with chocolate brown eyes and a smirk plastered on his face, as if laughing at Hajime's tears.

 

“Are you crying Iwa chan?” Oikawa would say in mock surprise.

 

That idiot.

 

Hajime then flips to the next page and to the next. He finds them as partners in preschool, their junior high graduation ceremony, high school volleyball team and a hell lot of Oikawa’s selfies with Hajime. Hajime tries to hold back his tears.

 

Hajime can still feel Oikawa's presence even though he knows that Oikawa is gone. He can still hear Oikawa calling him "Iwa chan" in that annoying voice, he can remember the words Oikawa muttered when he asked him to marry him and he dared imagine the future they might have had; he can still see Oikawa's endearing smile, and hell, he can even feel Oikawa's lips on his own, forming the words I love you.

 

But then, all of this is just an echo of the past.

 

 

 

  
  



End file.
